Interweave is a UUA affiliated organization. This chapter functions as a committee of FUUFHC according to its bylaws and the Seven Principles accepted by the UUA. Our goal is to maintain a welcoming environment for all people who yearn to support, celebrate and advocate for the GLBTIQS community. We meet the third Friday of every month hosting a variety of social and educational activities. For more information check the calendar or email interweave.fuufhc@gmail.com.

We sponsor movie nights and potlucks, keep the fellowship informed of important events and moments in GLBTQ history. Our committee would always love to have more members. If you’re interested in joining – or in helping out with one of our projects, email Steve Benoit or Linda Hahola at interweave.fuufhc@gmail.com

Read our conversations from last year’s UUA February Action of the Month
Speak Up for Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian & Transgender Equality

Freedom to Marry Week

“7 Conversations in 7 Days,” sponsored by Freedom to
Marry, focuses on the reality that having a conversation with another
individual, with your faith community, with your legislator, helps
effectively promote marriage equality in your community and nationwide.

From February 8th through 14th, the UUA will celebrate Freedom to
Marry Week by posting stories and essays written by prominent
Unitarian Universalist ministers and marriage equality activists. If
you haven’t already, we invite you to visit the UUA’s Action of the
Month website and pledge to take action, including lobbying your
elected representatives to promote BGLT equality.

First conversation

As I hope you all know, we are an officially Welcoming Congregation, which means that our congregation supports and welcomes gay, lesbian, bisexual, an transgender people just as we welcome anyone else. This week is “Freedom to Marry Week.” To celebrate this, our fellowship’s chapter of INTERWEAVE (formerly the Welcoming Congregation Committee) will be sending out a message every day, hopefully getting you all to think and talk about issues around GLBT equality.

Today, we’ll start with the issue that’s in the forefront of many conversations: Freedom to marry. Now, we happen to live in New Jersey, which offers some of the most comprehensive laws and protections in the USA. But civil unions at a state level still do not represent freedom to marry.

I’ll share one pretty mundane anecdote with you, followed by a link to a video, which I hope you’ll watch. It’s only a couple minutes long, but it really drives home an important point.

This weekend, I spent hours longer than a married couple would need to spend, navigating our taxes. Whereas a married couple would just be able to go to Turbo Tax and take care of their taxes pretty simply, a couple in a civil union needs to figure out and pay for two separate “single” returns, filing only their federal returns. Then we have to do all the paperwork for a married federal return (that won’t ever get filed) to allow us to file a married NJ state return. Yes, the state of NJ will call us married for taxation purposes, but not for public recognition. So when all was said and done, we had to pay for three federal returns and three state returns, when in reality we only filed two federal and one state.

To be sure we were fully aware of our separate status, as we entered all the information for our married federal return that means nothing in the eyes of the federal government, we watched our projected refund (as a married couple) grow well past what our actual refund will be (as two “single” men). So in addition to the difference in social status, there’s also a difference in finances, in case anyone was wondering.

Right now in California, the 18,000 gay and lesbian couples who managed to marry before the tragic passage of Proposition 8 now have to worry about the future of their legal recognition as a couple. Ken Starr (yes, him again) has filed a legal brief with the Supreme Court that would nullify all 18,000 of those legal unions.

Please take a minute and check out this video: http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/divorce

Finally, on a brighter note, lawmakers in Vermont introduced legislation last week that would extend marriage equality to same-sex couples, turning their state’s civil unions into full-fledged marriages. Keep your eyes on Vermont!

Thanks for listening! And if you’re interested in these issues, please contact Linda (interweave.fuufhc@gmail.com) to find out more about our meetings and activities.

Steve and Interweave

Second conversation

This week is “Freedom to Marry Week.” To celebrate this, our fellowship’s chapter of INTERWEAVE (formerly the Welcoming Congregation Committee) will be sending out a message every day, hopefully getting you all to think and talk about issues around GLBT equality. Steve wrote movingly yesterday about the freedom to marry. This week, I invite us all to consider the issue of workplace equality.

“Hey, how was your week-end?”

This question gets asked in workplaces around our country every Monday. Yet for so many gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender men and women, the question is a difficult one. Many have to ask themselves, ‘can I talk about where I spent my week-end, who I spent it with?’ Sometimes, even a quiet week-end at home with one’s partner cannot be broached as a subject of conversation.

Part of the unspoken privilege of being heterosexual in our society is that there is almost never the slightest question of repercussions when a heterosexual person discuss his or her living situation or dating situation. Few even consider what it would be like to have to keep such a major part of one’s life secret in the place you spend most of your day.

There are other, more formal discriminations as well. Many employers discriminate against employees in same-sex civil unions by denying them the benefits offered to married couples. In theory, New Jersey’s Civil Union law was supposed to offer committed same-sex couples the same rights as married heterosexual couples. However, the New Jersey Civil Union Review Commission, after interviewing many individuals following passage of the law, found that a great many workplaces in New Jersey did not offer the same benefits to those in civil unions as they did to heterosexual couples. Quoted in the report (you can read the whole report, and it is fascinating, at http://www.nj.gov/lps/dcr/downloads/1st-InterimReport-CURC.pdf), a nurse spoke about being denied health insurance, because the hospital claimed its health insurance plan was governed by homophobic federal law, rather than state law:

“It is under the federal ERISA program, as someone else stated. Our hospital is self-insured. Therefore, there is a loophole and they do not provide her with health insurance.
So I wrote them a letter, a lengthy letter, reminding them of some of the things that I had provided for the hospital through the years and asked them to reconsider their decision. They never answered my letter…I don’t know where this is going to go, but I know that my partner and I have seriously considered dissolving our civil union, because it has put us in a tremendously precarious financial position. Because now in the event that something happens with her and she has no insurance coverage, our entire estate is in jeopardy, rather than just half.”

In other words, not only is discrimination in the workplace still going on in New Jersey, but this discrimination is threatening the civil unions of committed couples. We can and must continue to work for a world where everyone can bring their whole selves to the workplace, and the workplace will support our families, as they deserve.
Rev. Bob

Third conversation
As you all know, we are an official Welcoming Congregation, which
means that our congregation supports and welcomes gay, lesbian,
bisexual, transgender and intersexed people just as we welcome anyone
else. Our fellowship’s chapter of INTERWEAVE is sending you, in love
and gratitude, our third conversation, focusing on another area of
discrimination . . . the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law.

“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Pursue, Don’t Harass” is a law enacted
in 1993 by President Clinton in an attempt to end discrimination in
the military. Strong opposition to the presence of homosexuals in
combat ready troops led to a bizarre compromise by Congress: a “law
rendering homosexuality incompatible with military service, but
allowing gays to serve under a closet friendly policy.” This has been
a disaster. Since 1994 over 11,000 people have been discharged, over
$360 million has been spent (from 1994-2003) enforcing DADT and the
military service has lost 800 specialists including 55 Arabic language
linguists.

As we walk down the road of ‘good intentions’ on our way to hell, the
effects of these policies have been intimidating and discouraging to
every gay man and lesbian woman volunteering their time, and life, to
protect the country. Consider the following in light of military
service; one’s partner is not eligible for deployed support, death
benefits, or even information about you. Don’t ask your partner to
visit you at Walter Reed, only next of kin until you recover. Showing
your corporal pictures of your family before you head into battle is
illegal. Asking a friend to forward your last words, items left
behind; better to have it sent via UPS.

Making a statement that you are gay, lesbian or bisexual; engaging in
sexual contact with someone of the same sex; marrying or attempting to
marry someone of the same sex are all against the current law and
reason for investigation and/or discharge. Now compare: the military
grants waivers to disqualifications from attention-deficit disorder to
obesity to armed robbery convictions. Can it really be believed that
a solider would prefer an armed robber at his or her side rather than
a lesbian? “To choose a felon over a combat-proven veteran on the
basis of sexual identity is defeatist.”

According to “Issue Brief: Repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” put out by
the UUA Washington Office for Advocacy . . . “It is immoral for an
overextended and depleted military to throw away the contributions of
brave and talented service members. A military operating under a
discriminatory employment policy fails the soldiers whose sacrifices
guarantee the American ideals of liberty and justice for all.”
quoted passages from An About Face on Gay Troops, NYT, Fen.9,2000;
Owen West.
More information at: uua.org/socialjustice
Service Members Legal Defense Network www.sldn.org

We continue to focus on the reality that having a conversation with another individual, with your faith
community and with your legislator, helps to effectively promote marriage
equality in your community and nationwide.
Linda

Fourth conversation

As you all know, we are an official Welcoming Congregation, which
means that our congregation supports and welcomes gay, lesbian,
bisexual, transgender and intersexed people just as we welcome anyone
else. Our fellowship’s chapter of INTERWEAVE is sending you, in
love and gratitude, our fourth conversation, focusing on another area
of discrimination . . . hate crimes.

There is no possible way a rational essay can be written about hate
crimes. Crimes of passion, when you hate the man/woman your partner
is sleeping with, when you over react to an injustice against your
child . . . I can write about that. An act of violence against
another human being based on a misunderstood concept of “difference”
or a baseless conception of “fear” . . . I don’t know how to explain
it. I don’t understand bigotry, gay bashing, the holocaust or even
boxing.

When I was young, I asked my dad what “gay” meant. He said (and I
quote) “Paul Lynde”. For those of you in the younger generation Paul
Lynde was a very gay comedian on a game show The Hollywood Squares.
Back then, being gay was seldom mentioned around the dinner table, so
I was able to grow up believing that being gay meant being funny.

I ‘ve heard Judy Shepard speak about her son Matthew’s violent,
sadistic death and how we have to support federal hate crime
legislation. I’ve listened to Rev. Rob talk about how he was raised
to be homophobic, and how there is still some of that inside. I’ve
celebrated holidays with people afraid to bring their partner to the
family table. I”ve read news articles about horrible acts of hate and
violence against individuals in an effort to preserve “family values.”

So what do I do about this horror? Everything I can. I cry, I
advocate, I learn and I educate. I read and I write and I speak. I
vomit, I march and I cry again. And I love. I love as hard and
furiously and loudly as I can. But not the perpetrators of these
crimes, these people who hate. I’m just not able to love beyond this
lack of understanding. I can’t do that yet, but maybe soon.

For more information:
United Against Hate: www.unitedagainsthate.net
Ways to Fight Hate: www.tolerance.org/10_ways/index
Support the Matthew Shepard Act: www.clergyagainsthate.org
UUA Action: uua.org/socialjustice